this is your lash chance, come out with your lids up!!

But officer, they're real, I swear!
If you're like me, you have a mascara problem. Not a hoarding problem or a lack of hoarding problem, but more like a theres-too-many-good-mascaras-on-the-market problem.

And it's not a matter of choosing between the good, but being unable to find the bad. I can't find a mascara that gives me a proper thick, clumpy mess to save my life. And trust me, I have tried.

My name is Noon, and I am a volumeaholic.

I want clumpy, crunchy, rediculous 60s lashes that hit my eyebrows. I want all that black gooey goodness that sticks together and makes me look like I've come out of a fight with a tar pit and the tar pit won. I want the blackest black, craziest lashes I can possibly muster, but I hate applying falsies.

Up until today, I thought there way no hope for me...but I was wrong. There IS hope, and now you, too, have it.

For me it started this morning when Amour Beauty's twitter feed tweeted a link to Into the Gloss titled Put Cornstarch in Everything. One of the tips? For crazed lashes that could take over Manhattan, you should, you guessed it...add cornstarch to your mascara.

Sounds weird as hell, right? And probs kinda gross, but as the article points out, cornstarch is basically one of the best and most classic food-grade thickeners there is, so putting it near your eyes or in your lipstick really probably isn't as bad as some of the other stuff that might already be IN your makeup.

Totally vibing on this logic, I got up and turned off the CSI marathon I was watching and got to work with a little experimentation of my own.

It's science time.
So, things you will need:

  • mascara
  • a mascara wand you don't mind ruining or an individual spoolie
  • corn starch
  • a toothpick or something to mix with (i used a cosmetic spatula)
  • waxed paper or a plate or something else to mix on
Got everything?
The mascara I chose for this was L'oreal's Black Smoke, because I have 2 tubes of it and didn't mind if one of them ended up gloppy, since I'm getting close to the end of it anyway.

So, put a couple wandfuls of mascara on the wax paper, or dig some out with a toothpick if you'd prefer to do that. In the end I think I used about 6 or 7 wand pulls.

Add the tiniest bit of cornstarch.

Aaaaaand...mix it up! Just kinda fold it in and smooch and scrape it around until it's good and thick and paste-y, you'll understand when it happens. If it's almost too thick, add more mascara, trust me, more is better because if it's too dry and thick it'll be really hard to coat your lashes.

Once it feels about right, twirl your wand in it to pick up some of your new concoction and apply like you would. It'll be thick and clumpy, so be prepared to have to adjust some of your lashes by hand or pinch off clumps or lash ends you dislike the look of.

Ignore the blue ring, that's my contact.

Yes, it does flake a bit. Would not recommend this for your bff's wedding or a night where you need to look pristine.

Ta-dah! Clumpy, smokey, falsie-worthy lashes. And all for no extra charge, unless for some reason you didn't have corn starch laying around, in which case I apologize. Also it helps to curl them before applying, for that nice doll-eyed look.

And just a word of caution: this will probably flake a bit, and it will feel a little heavier than your normal mascara. It also was messing with me at first because I could kinda "see" my lashes, though once I got used to it that feeling went away. I wouldn't recommend this as some kind of be-all volume savior because it's really not perfect. However, for some big volume fun on Halloween or while on a mall run? Totally.

Selfie with this look while sitting in my car. (Why is my car the best place for selfies? It mystifies me.)
That's it! Simple, quick, and totally arrest-worthy. Praise science.


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peachy noon

Meet The Author

Noon. 24. American born, Finland residing. I really love dogs.